Jonathan Troke's Christmas Entry Extravaganza!

Thus concludes my 29th Christmas Day. Do you know what comes next year? My 30th Christmas Day. Because, you see, I'll be 30 years old at that time. However, not only is that not important right now it's a topic for another blog entry. Therefore it goes back to the desert I refer to as my "blog entry idea depository" or BEID which is pronounced like the word "bed" after you've been punched in the mouth. Regardless, just a point of fact I thought I'd mention to create the setting for what you're about to experience as "Jonathan Troke's Christmas Entry Extravaganza!"

See that? Bold typography and over-exaggerated descriptive. Now that's how you sell a blog entry, folks. You don't come here for understated font and nap-inducing narrative. Think of the setup for what follows as if it were directed by Michael Bay. In fact, it would greatly help me out if you wouldn't mind grabbing the nearest box of household explosives and detonating them as you read this introduction. There. Are you sufficiently pumped? Concerned that I won't be able to deliver on what has now been built up in your mind as the end all Christmas themed blog entries of this young century? I know I am! Onward!

In the last few seconds or so I've arbitrarily decided it would be best to narrow down my thoughts on the Christmas of 2012 into three concise paragraphs. Paragraph the first:

My wonderful wife created a new Christmas tradition this year. She decided to view one Christmas themed movie or show beginning on the first of December and leading up to Christmas Day. While she succeeded at doing this I failed to match her enthusiasm on occasion and didn't watch each film with her. (Although I did managed to see most of them) On Christmas Eve we watched one of my favorites; A Christmas Story. Since we don't have TBS and exist in the late 90's anymore with their near constant showing of this classic we had obtained our own DVD for just this occasion. Other notable mentions from this tradition include Christmas Vacation, Muppet's Christmas Carol and the Muppet's Family Christmas. Of which my favorite line is delivered from the stoic Sam the Eagle: "Why am I here?"

As I've grown older and wiser I've come to appreciate Christmas in new ways. There was a time when I was a wee lad that lil'Troke could barely sleep on Christmas Eve night. At this point I don't have that problem anymore. But despite the absence of insomnia inducing glee I now look forward to the time off work to spend with my wife, going to church for the Christmas Eve service, and the Christmas turkey... and turkey sandwiches and turkey salad and turkey gravy and Turkey Hash and Turkey a la King and gallons of turkey soup!  The point is that I like turkey and quoting movies.

Finally, my final thought on Christmas, finally: Receiving new underwear is the gift that keeps on giving all year 'round.

Well, there you go. Did I deliver? Don't answer that. It was a rhetorical question. Besides, it isn't important right now. What is important is that it is now the year 2013. I expected, as did we all, to be able to hop on my hover-board and ride to the hover-store and pick up some hover-milk by now. But can I? No! If any of you know of way that we can speed up the process for inventing a non-lethal form of hover-milk I'd greatly love to hear of it. Which is why from this point forward, beginning in 2013 and beyond my readership will henceforth be known as Jonathan Troke's Personal Think Tank Extravaganza! So pull together and get this figured out. It's up to you. My part is only to write about it when you're done.